Bald

Its been a dream of mine since ages - Going bald. Next to Sardarji's I am happiest when I see a shiny, bald head on the street. What freedom! We had a teacher back in school who went bald every year. Of course she sacrificed her hair at a temple in India probably for some favor got or to be received from above, but ever since then its captivated me. Enlightenment and a shaven head seem to go hand in hand. 

  Why go bald? The most predominant reason is that I am too lazy to care for my hair. The theory of hair states that the lesser the hair, the more the obsession. I often wish if only I was born with the kind of hair shown in ads , ramrod straight, sleek and once tucked behind the ear it stays there. But I have the kind of hair that twists and turns and finally comes back to poke you in the ear or eye. And I have lots of it. And this poking happens at any time of the day and almost always at night. Some nights just as I am about to sleep I see Reni in his sleep scratching away at his face,nose or ear every couple of minutes. I realize it isn't villains or heroines in his dreams who he is chasing, its that one strand of hair from my head which is insistently poking him even as he tries to chase it away. As soon as I move my hair the lines on his forehead disappear and he goes back to his dreams happily.

   Another reason is without my crowning glory there is no need to ever look at a mirror anymore.  I am unfortunately very un -woman like when it comes to mirrors. I don't see the need to look in the mirror for more than a second. I rarely see anything more than my hair and once I do notice my hair, nine times out of ten I am shocked that I was going around looking like this. Then there is a mad rush to find a comb and the mirror is then forgotten. I also tend to look at myself objectively in mirrors. Its either the hair or the eyes or the teeth or whatever portion that needs my immediate attention. Once I fix it, the mirror is no longer required. I have seen girls with mirrors in the purses who frequently look into it and correct any abnormality however miniscule. I remember once being wonderstuck when I had a moment of clarity and saw myself as a whole face in the mirror. And at that moment it came to me, Oh! this is what others see when they look at me. I am still waiting for that moment to come around again. I wonder is everyone like this or whether its just me.

 So what holds me back from going bald? The answer is simple enough - society. Several summers ago when it got too hot I traded in a braid for a pony tail. The next morning when I went to college feeling wonderfully light several of my classmates got angry at me for cutting it short. I was stunned that they felt so strongly about it. And since I am such a peace loving person I didn't do anything to my hair for a whole year until next summer. It got too hot and sticky again the following year and I couldn't bear to have my hair long. So off I went to have it cut. Scandalized eyes met me the next day in college. If I go bald I doubt if others will be able to bear with it. I am a rebel but one with a conscience. As a species we set much store by hair. And those who don't have it comfort themselves by looking at others. I know coz I am not happy with my mere 5 foot 3 but happy that my sister is 5 foot 4. Ultimately my hair is not really my hair. It just happens to be growing out of my hair follicles but in reality it represents a lot to so many other people that I dare not do too much about it. 

  I doubt if anyone would agree with most of what I have written. Most would shake their heads and say, she doesn't know how lucky she is. My mother in law who hasn't seen me in a year, asks at times how long my hair is and advises me not to cut it anymore. She would be mortified if she ever read this. The world says if you have it flaunt it. What they don't say is to flaunt it you need to buy several gallons of products, cover yourself with them and ultimately end up looking 'natural'. The hair care industry is reaping millions with those who care for the each strand of their head. Minus these products whenever I flaunted it, I ended up looking like a ragamuffin.

I don't know how many will sympathize with me, but we who have it have problems too. Obviously since I have so much of hair its influenced my thoughts on the same. Nevertheless I do feel a pang whenever I comb my hair and several strands fall off. I blame the water, I despair and I check my hair line to see if I am going bald. Baldness brought on naturally is a horror, but a shaven head is a different story.

Now please excuse me while I go scratch my ear.