Now and before

Two trees stood side by side.
Same height, same size
A leaf I traced
To find the tree it claimed
But the leaf replied,
I am not easily found.

To the wind I asked,
How did these trees grow up so similar?
Were the seeds sown the same day?
Were they looked after the same way?
The wind replied,
Ask the sun and blew away

To the sun I asked,
Is this a coincidence or by design
The sun replied
They might look the same but they are not,
Every leaf that calls me by name
Has its own distinct voice.

Astrologers

If the planets told me,
That I would be,
The biggest superstar,
They had ever seen,
I 'd soar like an eagle,
Sing out loud,
Jump for joy,
Cast dreams abound.

Then I would sit back,
Breathe and relax,
Because a star I know,
I would never be.
      
        I really couldn't say if astrology is real or fake, but its undoubtedly fun when astrologers read your horoscope. At every point of your life there is something lacking and the astute astrologer predicts that in abundance for you. Once in a while I suppose they hit the nail on the head and that one success story becomes their claim to fame.  I have been to an astrologer once. I believe he was considered famous. He studied our signs and told my mom that the children's horoscope was responsible for the death of my dad. I don't think he noticed the killer looks I gave him for that. Since then every time I pass his house I direct a nasty thought at him. I have not been to an astrologer since then, nor have I had the opportunity to do so.

            Barring this one thing, generally astrologers have always maintained wonderful things are going to happen in my life. Oh, I forgot about the snake bite which was supposed to happen in my nineteenth year,but for some reason never happened. I don't hold it against them since only one astrologer ever mentioned that.

          A couple of years ago while mom was searching for a son in law she consulted several astrologers. Close to fifteen astrologers predicted with certainty, "This girl is going to study". Not one or two, but fifteen! I rolled up my sleeves and spent that year attending coaching classes for MBA every weekend. Maybe that qualified as the final years of my education because I studied no further. (Funny how the last things I learnt in a classroom were calculating speeds of trains or length of shadows.) All during that year, I kept thinking, all fifteen couldn't be wrong. On the strength of their optimistic proclamations I bounced happily into the CAT exam hall and just as quickly deflated when my results came out. This kind of cemented my belief on astrologers - all fun but no substance.

      My mom went with her friend last week to see another famous astrologer. Inevitably with no job and far away from home, I am prime astrologer material. My immediate future has been mapped out thus - The skies are clear with chance of  a job, a kid and a whole lot of trouble post August.
 

Gift of the heart

At the bus stop she sits,
Huddled away from busy feet,
Wrinkled skin, tattered clothes,
A living corpse,
She is barely more than that.

She hears not the vehicles horn,
Nor notices the endless stomping feet,
Her head bowed, weighed down
In despair,
Her bleeding heart torn.

Near her, a pair of feet unmoving,
A tall, lanky man, his look appraising,
Holding a rucksack and an umbrella,
Almost a vagabond,
His face a mask,he stands wondering.

Suddenly he darts, his strides long
Carrying him swiftly onto the street.
She never sees him come or go.
Though I search,
He is soon lost in the throng.

Minutes later, he comes back,
In his hand a heavy bag.
He stops but for a second, whispers,
And walks away
Not once looking back.

Slowly her arm extends right,
Pulling the bag towards her.
Reaching in, cautiously, she pulls out,
Bananas - yellow and ripe.
Her shriveled fingers clutch it tight.

Neither does she acknowledge,
Nor does he expect gratitude.
In that moment, unheard by the crowd
Love sang
And those of us who witnessed,were changed forever.


(She may not be alive now,
You may not remember giving,
But I who saw everything,
Remember,
And rhyme this story.)

While I wait...

Scene - At the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive. There is only a single chair and I settle in and pull out my phone and make a call. Too busy talking on the phone I vaguely realize that I am no longer alone at the stop, there was someone else shuffling towards the bus stop as well. He comes over and looks around.

Me : (Distracted from the phone) Do you want to sit on the chair? I am fine with standing.

Him : Oh no thanks. I thought there used to be 2 chairs here.

I go back to my phone conversation while he settles himself on the ground. A couple of minutes pass .

Him : I will tell you when the bus arrives.

I have moved my chair to the shade, which means I cannot see when a bus is approaching. Still on the phone I smile and acknowledge his offer of assistance.

Him : (A couple more minutes later) I will tell you when the bus arrives.

Something is wrong here. I look at him more carefully. Graying hairs, sagging skin he looks like someone who grew old too quickly. One must be kind to the elderly so -

Me: Are you sure you don't want to sit to this chair?

Him : I am fine here. You sit on that chair. I will tell you when the bus arrives.

A couple minutes later my phone conversation is done and I settle in the chair waiting for the bus to arrive.

Him: You are very kind. Its not often that you meet people who are this good.

Right about then it hits me. Or rather it kind of wafts up my nose; The smell of alcohol coming from his general direction. Under ordinary circumstances I stay far far away from drunks. But here I have trapped myself.  I pretend to not hear him.
But he does not seem to need an answer from my side. He is a man on a mission. He needs to unburden himself and therefore his only requirement is a living soul to hear him out. His monologue lasts a good five minutes without any prompting from my side. Having exhausted praises on my kindness he starts pouring his heart out to me.

Him: "Oh S***! You are so gorgeous. Long hair, beautiful face and your f***ing kind as well! Do you know how beautiful you are?"

I cringe on the inside while trying to look anywhere else but at his general direction. I am glad I am wearing my sun glasses so that I don't have to make eye contact. I feel like laughing at the absurdity of the situation but at the same time I must look disinterested in order to fend him off. How do you shake off advances from an old man?
He evidently thinks he has got the cat in the bag and he makes his move.

Him:"Are you married?".

It strikes me, this is my way out. If I say yes, he might stop. So I nod. He transforms instantly from a hopeful admirer to a tragedy struck lover.

Him : "Damn! That lucky guy. I should have met you sooner then I might have had a chance. Damn!  In case there is ever a chance remember Mathew (or Andrew) G from South San Francisco. I am always available. Do you want my number?"

I guess in his optimistic scheme of things, since divorce rates are high in US I am going to be available pretty soon and therefore he still has a chance.
Now there are people arriving at the bus stop. A lady glances at me, taking stock of the situation. I smile, she smiles. Womanhood acknowledging each other. Meanwhile...

Him : "Damn! All the good ones are always taken! Its my bad luck. But you are so beautiful. You can take my number if you want"

Me : (in my most gruffest tone) "Lets just wait for the bus"

Him : "I guess you want to be left alone huh? Ok. I will tell you when the bus comes."

The lady on the side moves. I look at her and she nods saying the bus has come. I quickly side step him and board the bus. Thankfully its not the one he wants.

Him :  "Have a good day"
I nod and climb on.

In under ten minutes I was elevated to a gorgeous diva with a heart of gold and offered a hand in marriage. If only he were not an old, penniless, drunkard I might have believed him.

(Every word of this is true. I am only sorry I don't remember more of what he said that day.)

Discord

Its time,
My temper has come and gone
No longer do I think I am right
Nor were you right or wrong.

A glance, a broken smile,
My first steps towards you
This fight was perhaps only
Worth a moment few.

Would you smile, ever so slightly?
We could be buddies as before.
But you glare, your temper still raging
Its time... we spar again.

Halloween

   Last year, late one night we were sitting at home doing particularly nothing worth remembering. The norm for late nights in Seattle is its dark and its quiet. Suddenly, there is a heavy knock on the door. We both fly out of the sofa where, till a moment ago we were comfortably relaxing. I quickly gather the clothes strewn on the sofa and other junk items and deposit it on the bedroom floor. Having cleared the living room, I walk back to Reni who is standing beside the door, peering through the peep hole.

   Before I proceed further, let me tell you that late night knocks on our door are something that we have had to deal with before. Our neighbors were in some kind of trouble with the police and we have had cops coming to check on them. Several times police cars would watch that apartment for a couple of minutes and then drive away. So I was very wary of the folks next door. At times we have also had friends of our neighbors knock on our doors late night by accident. By the time we open our door, they would have realized their mistake and gone into the right house without a word to us. Keeping all that in mind, I kept my voice down and mimed asking Reni who it was. He whispered he couldn't see a thing. Immediately I thought it must be someone who had accidentally knocked and had gone away. My second thought was someone was hiding by the door out of sight. I wanted to take a look too. From past experiences I knew that if I walked past the peep hole, it would obstruct the light and whoever was outside would know that someone was inside. So I bent down on all fours and crawled across.  Reni looks down and seeing me sitting down by the door, he whispers, " Someone has covered the key hole from the outside. I cant see anything because of that." My eyebrows shoot up in shock. Is the neighbor playing with us? Who could it be?

   My detective powers immediately kick in. I jump up and run silently towards the bed room. I part the blinds ever so slowly and look out to see if anyone is hiding. Though we cannot see the door from the window, I look hoping for some clue. Meanwhile I can hear Reni asking who is there but there is no response apart from more knocks. Moments later Reni joins me at the window and we both look out. I strain my ear hoping to pick up some noise. But to no avail, its eerily quiet outside except for the knocks. We both head back to the door. Though Reni continues to ask who is outside no one answers and the knocking continues. Finally after sometime Reni decides to be brave and starts to unlock the door. I step back from the door and move to the side. Reni too steps back from the door and extends his hand towards the door knob and starts to turn the knob.

   Inch by inch he opens the door, hiding behind the door partially and at the same time trying to see who is out there. I can hear noises outside but I am unable to see. I can only see Reni and his face shows surprise and then... he starts to smile. Startled, I walk towards the door and look out to see a hooded figure in black with the Scream mask and a huge knife in his hand.

Nikky emerges from behind the mask smiling.  Along with him is Sanoj grinning.
Happy halloween they say.

Fright walk..

  There are those, who go to horror movies/shows because they are not afraid of such things, and those, who are afraid, but even then like getting spooked. I belong to neither of those categories. I stay far far away from spooky stuff.  I am ashamed to admit, but I get startled by the most silliest of things like, if someone walks unexpectedly into a room. Since I am so adept at scaring myself on a daily basis, I don't fall prey to suggestions of horror movies/shows. But last week, under the joined force attack of a warm sunny day and a crowd of noisy people I found myself suggesting to Reni - "Lets try the Fright Walk".

  As a fright walk survivor, I can tell you that a Fright Walk is a dark maze with spooky noises, props and actors waiting to scare you at every turn. Its meant for kids basically. But when this story begins, I am not even imagining what I am getting myself into. My suggestion was immediately approved by the horror loving husband. However, once we went inside the building and the sun and noises faded, my fears surfaced. Unimaginable horrors were running through my head as we stood wondering how it would be. My heart was pounding incessantly, my ears felt hot and I felt faint. Both my hands were firmly clutched on to Reni, who I imagine, was busy checking out the beach scene outside. I longed to smile - which is what I do when I am petrified, but there were folks behind me and I didn't want them to think I was scared. I blinked a couple of times, took a deep breath and tried to focus on what the skeleton heads above me were advising that I do, once we stepped in. Half way through their talk, I gave up listening since I couldn't catch most of what they were saying. Instead, I adjusted my grip on Reni's arm and fought the lightheadness that seemed to come out of no where. Feeling the tight grip on his arm getting tighter, Reni looked at me and I did what I do best - I smiled. He smiled back reassuringly, patted my hand and seconds later we were going through the door.


    Inside, it was pitch black with a strategic lights placed here and there to guide us on. Black walls, black curtains, black ceiling and floor. I kept away from the walls as much as I could and hurried along. Noises floated above whispering things, blood covered bodies jumped out from behind doors and the path kept on twisting and turning endlessly. With Reni hurrying along and me behind pushing him to walk even faster, most of the motion sensor props got activated way after we crossed them. I saw Reni getting startled by his own reflection at one point but so far I really hadn't been scared. After having covered three quarters of the maze we finally began seeing the Exit signs posted. I was elated that the worst was over. It suddenly seemed to be a bit brighter and my heart rate was definitely sliding back to normal. Out of the blue, the last turn came up and as I rounded it expecting the exit door, someone crept alongside me and I jumped out of my own skin. The last mirror was unexpected and the fright walk lay claim to another victim frightened by their own reflection! We reached the exit almost immediately and the world was bright again.

  Once we stepped out, we passed the queue of those waiting to get in. I could see anxious faces looking at me, like I had been looking at others before. I walked away a zen like calmness on my face, as nonchalantly as if it were just a walk in park.

  Following the success of the Fright walk, I have even attempted a horror movie as well. It went better than expected. I screamed only once and jumped in fright only a couple of times. It does not mean that I have changed but my outlook has improved a tiny bit. But I still continue get startled when someone suddenly enters the room.